Lost
by Flying Fishes
Summary: When things shatter, its instantaneous. You know it happens, yet you can't do a thing. Sometimes, you don't even know its shattered. Sometimes, its best to pretend it never happened. Short; not quite angst; AU in a way.


Lost

By: Flying Fishes

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Leave it at that. The song is _Warriors_ from Yu-Gi-Oh, sung by Yuichi Ikusawa.

* * *

_In the wavering facade, our wish is eternally endless_

It's not like anything really changed, not really. But something was different.

There's a certain power to knowing you are real. It's a good feeling. I always used to feel real. I was alive, I was living; I was free.

Was. At one point in time, I started feeling obsolete¹; like I wasn't there; almost like I wasn't supposed to _be_ there. Daisuke was different. It's almost ironic how he was my last host. He had his own power and his own charm. Everything he did, everything he said, was _good_. I wanted to be like him. I wanted to be him. I wanted to be the wings instead of having them.

I tried dropping the pretense that one of us was better. I tried believing that we were equal, that we were both great. But no matter how much I tried, I couldn't. Every time I looked at Daisuke, I always saw something better, something above me, something I couldn't reach. My wish would always stay there, never fulfilled, like a broken mask.

_  
To live unnoticed, I deserted a happiness  
__That was relying with pretense on and dancing to what was merely an illusion_

Sometimes I wonder how complete had my daydream had been that I would feel so broken when everything seemed to fall down around me.

It was a dance I did; my own dramatic version of life. I lived in myself. It was a hedonistic lifestyle, but it was fun. I broke hearts over and over and I couldn't have cared less. When I looked back at what I'd done, I couldn't believe it was me. I couldn't see myself. I couldn't feel any of the pleasure derived from my actions before.

That was when I realized how unhappy I was. I was losing every game I had played with myself. I lost the rhythm of my dance.

Nowadays, I'm starting to think there was never a dance. I don't understand myself anymore. I always relied on the fact that I knew myself; but how do youknow yourself anymore when you see what you can truly be?

_  
At the edge of my sight with my eyes closed, I was searching for your smiling face_

I never wanted to be a hero, yet that was what everyone thought of me. It's what they made of me; it was the best role for me. I never doubted that I had ambition, but after all was said and done; it feels like it wasn't ambition at all. More like a desire to be the very best.

When I close my eyes, I try to search for the hero everyone sees.

I can't.

A hero is someone great. Once upon a time I might've been a hero, but now I'm nothing more than a shadow of one.

_We embrace our dreams and run through the wavering facade, that's right  
__This thought that I've kept shut in my chest since some other day, I'll grip it once more now_

It's strange that I always knew myself best on the battlefield. I was always sure of myself, even if I didn't know who myself was. It was like gripping a real sword after years of practicing with a fake one. You feel sure of yourself, even if you know there's more to learn.

I've kept that feeling for a long time. Every fight, ever punch, was exhilarating. This was what I was born to be, and what Daisuke turned out to be: someone who would never give up a fight. But my fight was somewhere else; somewhere I didn't realize; somewhere inside myself.

_  
Continuing across the distant sky, a dream we can't see all the way through is weeping_

It's easier to think that you live in a dream. They carry you to places you want to go and they give you the grounded feeling that you want all your life.

But all dreams must come to an end. Pretty soon, it leaves, leaving behind the reality that nothing bad can last forever, but neither can anything good. Somehow, after all these years, I've finally woken up from my long sleep; woken up to Daisuke.

_  
What I didn't say in the days before, I want to present it to you today_

I'm sorry Daisuke. I'm just really sorry……….

* * *

¹ Not a very good word, but I couldn't find anything else. 

Some of you may not understand the last line. I can't really explain it; so please don't ask.

This story doesn't really fit together that well. The song choice wasn't that great either, and Dark is way out of character. I don't think the story really made that much sense either………


End file.
